The following is a journalistic presentation of
The Captain's Purple Anchor Productions
Ravens Roost 117 Blogging
The Captain's Purple Anchor Productions
Ravens Roost 117 Blogging
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If you are like me and just want to humor people, well then this blog is for you. If you don't like the nastiness, then you need to leave... But we are all here for my analysis right? Parlay bets and stuff... Yeah... you'll get that when the regular season comes around...
I only did the bets and parlays to give you an overview of what I am going to do. Now take that $1,000 you have and put it away... Don't put it in your wallet, it won't fit... Maybe put it in that smelly sock that can walk to the washer... Or do the old Sanford and Son secret hiding place where it takes two taps and a fist slam to open...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the era of sh*t posting is here... Not the way UrinatingTree does it, but the way I do it. We're going to get everyone humored and so on... We need people to laugh... We need people to take the sarcasm the way it should be, sarcastic...
So just a reminder that all of my blogs are rated PG-13... We don't want prying eyes on these things now do we.
Why don't you grab a chair, sit down and take a good look at what we can expect this week as week 2 is upon us...
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If you are like me and just want to humor people, well then this blog is for you. If you don't like the nastiness, then you need to leave... But we are all here for my analysis right? Parlay bets and stuff... Yeah... you'll get that when the regular season comes around...
I only did the bets and parlays to give you an overview of what I am going to do. Now take that $1,000 you have and put it away... Don't put it in your wallet, it won't fit... Maybe put it in that smelly sock that can walk to the washer... Or do the old Sanford and Son secret hiding place where it takes two taps and a fist slam to open...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the era of sh*t posting is here... Not the way UrinatingTree does it, but the way I do it. We're going to get everyone humored and so on... We need people to laugh... We need people to take the sarcasm the way it should be, sarcastic...
So just a reminder that all of my blogs are rated PG-13... We don't want prying eyes on these things now do we.
Why don't you grab a chair, sit down and take a good look at what we can expect this week as week 2 is upon us...
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Week 1 of preseason is in the books... everyone has played their first game... the football Gods are pleased again... everyone is going to be 0 and 0 in a few short weeks and gunning for that Lombardi trophy in February...
Question is: How did the Ravens stack up in week 1 of preseason...
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Analysis of the Ravens for Week 1:
The Ravens won their 21st preseason game of the year... While it is 21 in a row and we have a blackjack on our hands, why not go for bust and play for 22 in a row...? You see what I did there...? 21, blackjack? Over 21, bust? Ha! I kill me! Yeah, bad joke.
Tyler Huntley was the obvious choice to start the game mainly because Lamar just wants to sit and wait a bit. But he will have to play sometime... Huntley did very well with a 16/18 day for 109 yards and a TD, plus got 17 yards on the ground, 14 of which coming on 1 play. Huntley's definitely starting to get some interest from other teams... Put a first-rounder on him, boys.
Shemar Bridges is making a case to be on the team as he picked up 4 receptions for 62 yards and a touchdown... The Ravens were 28/35 for 259 yards passing on 3 QBs, which isn't bad but Brett Hundley *BOOM* got cut... So it looks like Anthony Brown Jr. could be the 3rd stringer behind Huntley.
Anthony Brown Jr. looked very good as well, Going 10/15 for 117 yards...
The defense looks a-ok but a lot of the big names weren't playing in that game. Kyle Hamilton had one solo tackle and got burned a few times, but I think he's alright, just a rookie. But Daniel Faalele looked like Fred Astaire, awful light on his feet for his 6' 8" 385lb fat ass. Opening up holes... and throwing his opponents like toys... this kid is going to be a monster... a big monster.... He's Australian so maybe he'll bring some Outback steaks and some Kookaburra wings for the team.
Special teams looked great with Tucker picking up a 3/3 FG, 2/2 XP day for 11 points with a long of 47. Jordan Stout averaged nearly 50 yards a punt. But did you hear about that kid who's playing for Buffalo... good grief a 82 yard punt... Did we pick the right guy? Well of course we did. That kid is clever.
The Ravens got off to a fast start and didn't look back, except for that small moment when they were behind 10-7, I can honestly give the Ravens an A for their performance but the D? Needs to tighten up some... we'll cut them some slack though.
The final stat lines for the Ravens:
11 total offensive drives
69 plays
389 yards of offense (259 Air / 130 Ground)
1 Turnover (+2 on turnover battle)
35:32 Time of Possession
19 First Downs (12 Air / 7 Ground)
8/17 on Third Down
Tyler Huntley was the obvious choice to start the game mainly because Lamar just wants to sit and wait a bit. But he will have to play sometime... Huntley did very well with a 16/18 day for 109 yards and a TD, plus got 17 yards on the ground, 14 of which coming on 1 play. Huntley's definitely starting to get some interest from other teams... Put a first-rounder on him, boys.
Shemar Bridges is making a case to be on the team as he picked up 4 receptions for 62 yards and a touchdown... The Ravens were 28/35 for 259 yards passing on 3 QBs, which isn't bad but Brett Hundley *BOOM* got cut... So it looks like Anthony Brown Jr. could be the 3rd stringer behind Huntley.
Anthony Brown Jr. looked very good as well, Going 10/15 for 117 yards...
The defense looks a-ok but a lot of the big names weren't playing in that game. Kyle Hamilton had one solo tackle and got burned a few times, but I think he's alright, just a rookie. But Daniel Faalele looked like Fred Astaire, awful light on his feet for his 6' 8" 385lb fat ass. Opening up holes... and throwing his opponents like toys... this kid is going to be a monster... a big monster.... He's Australian so maybe he'll bring some Outback steaks and some Kookaburra wings for the team.
Special teams looked great with Tucker picking up a 3/3 FG, 2/2 XP day for 11 points with a long of 47. Jordan Stout averaged nearly 50 yards a punt. But did you hear about that kid who's playing for Buffalo... good grief a 82 yard punt... Did we pick the right guy? Well of course we did. That kid is clever.
The Ravens got off to a fast start and didn't look back, except for that small moment when they were behind 10-7, I can honestly give the Ravens an A for their performance but the D? Needs to tighten up some... we'll cut them some slack though.
The final stat lines for the Ravens:
11 total offensive drives
69 plays
389 yards of offense (259 Air / 130 Ground)
1 Turnover (+2 on turnover battle)
35:32 Time of Possession
19 First Downs (12 Air / 7 Ground)
8/17 on Third Down
6 penalties for 54 yards
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Week 2 vs. Cardinals (SUN - 8pm - FOX - WBFF-45)
Ok, so we have the Cardinals up next in preseason. Hollywood Brown sees his old mates in a battle. I expect Lamar to maybe play a few series but after that interview with CBS, I expect Lamar to be a bit more fired up on when the season comes around. That CBS sports reporter went after him like the red-headed stepchild he's been treated like. I think Mahomes is right when he says that him and Jackson are treated somewhat differently. The Ravens will need to give Jackson a nice extension but he will have to definitely earn it as the Ravens do have a rather tough schedule to deal with.
Shemar Bridges, if he can continue to play well, he might just have a spot on the team
Isaiah Likely is making waves on this team as he had a few key blocks and made some good catches too.
Binjimen Victor had a few nice plays as well. Good catch there, mate.
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So how did I do last week with my preseason picks?
New York vs. New England (Pick: NE) - Nope
Tennessee vs. Baltimore (Pick: BAL) - YEP!
Atlanta vs. Detroit (Pick: DET) - Nope
Cleveland vs. Jacksonville (Pick: JAX) - Nope
New York-AFC vs. Philadelphia (Pick: PHI) - Nope
Arizona vs. Cincinnati (Pick: ARZ) - YEP!
Green Bay vs. San Francisco (Pick: GB) - Nope
Kansas City vs. Chicago (Pick: KC) - Nope
Carolina vs. Washington (Pick: CAR) - YEP!
Indianapolis vs. Buffalo (Pick: BUF) - YEP!
Seattle vs. Pittsburgh (Pick: SEA) - Nope
Miami vs. Tampa Bay (Pick: TB) - Nope
New Orleans vs. Houston (Pick: NO) - Nope
Dallas vs. Denver (Pick: DEN) - YEP!
Los Angeles vs. Los Angeles (Pick: LAC) - Nope
Minnesota vs. Las Vegas (Pick: LV) - YEP!
Record: 6-10 (6-10 on the preseason). Yeah well, maybe we can do better this week... good thing I didn't parlay... yeesh.
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Week 2 selections (Week 1 was a preview of the betting, now there will be no bets placed on these because... it's preseason and no one gives a flying fudge about it).
Chicago Bears vs. Seattle Seahawks (Pick: CHI)
Carolina Panthers vs. New England Patriots (Pick: CAR)
New Orleans Saints vs. Green Bay Packers (Pick: NO)
Houston Texans vs. Los Angeles-NFC (Pick: LAR)
Denver Broncos vs. Buffalo Bills (Pick: BUF)
Detroit Lions vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND)
Washington Commanders vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN)
Las Vegas Raiders vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA)
San Francisco 49ers vs. Minnesota Vikings (Pick: MIN)
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (Pick: PIT)
Dallas Cowboys vs. Los Angeles-AFC (Pick: LAC)
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: PHI)
Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York-NFC (Pick: CIN)
Baltimore Ravens vs. Arizona Cardinals (Pick: BAL)
Atlanta Falcons vs. New York-AFC (Pick: ATL)
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Week 2 vs. Cardinals (SUN - 8pm - FOX - WBFF-45)
Ok, so we have the Cardinals up next in preseason. Hollywood Brown sees his old mates in a battle. I expect Lamar to maybe play a few series but after that interview with CBS, I expect Lamar to be a bit more fired up on when the season comes around. That CBS sports reporter went after him like the red-headed stepchild he's been treated like. I think Mahomes is right when he says that him and Jackson are treated somewhat differently. The Ravens will need to give Jackson a nice extension but he will have to definitely earn it as the Ravens do have a rather tough schedule to deal with.
Shemar Bridges, if he can continue to play well, he might just have a spot on the team
Isaiah Likely is making waves on this team as he had a few key blocks and made some good catches too.
Binjimen Victor had a few nice plays as well. Good catch there, mate.
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So how did I do last week with my preseason picks?
New York vs. New England (Pick: NE) - Nope
Tennessee vs. Baltimore (Pick: BAL) - YEP!
Atlanta vs. Detroit (Pick: DET) - Nope
Cleveland vs. Jacksonville (Pick: JAX) - Nope
New York-AFC vs. Philadelphia (Pick: PHI) - Nope
Arizona vs. Cincinnati (Pick: ARZ) - YEP!
Green Bay vs. San Francisco (Pick: GB) - Nope
Kansas City vs. Chicago (Pick: KC) - Nope
Carolina vs. Washington (Pick: CAR) - YEP!
Indianapolis vs. Buffalo (Pick: BUF) - YEP!
Seattle vs. Pittsburgh (Pick: SEA) - Nope
Miami vs. Tampa Bay (Pick: TB) - Nope
New Orleans vs. Houston (Pick: NO) - Nope
Dallas vs. Denver (Pick: DEN) - YEP!
Los Angeles vs. Los Angeles (Pick: LAC) - Nope
Minnesota vs. Las Vegas (Pick: LV) - YEP!
Record: 6-10 (6-10 on the preseason). Yeah well, maybe we can do better this week... good thing I didn't parlay... yeesh.
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Week 2 selections (Week 1 was a preview of the betting, now there will be no bets placed on these because... it's preseason and no one gives a flying fudge about it).
Chicago Bears vs. Seattle Seahawks (Pick: CHI)
Carolina Panthers vs. New England Patriots (Pick: CAR)
New Orleans Saints vs. Green Bay Packers (Pick: NO)
Houston Texans vs. Los Angeles-NFC (Pick: LAR)
Denver Broncos vs. Buffalo Bills (Pick: BUF)
Detroit Lions vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND)
Washington Commanders vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN)
Las Vegas Raiders vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA)
San Francisco 49ers vs. Minnesota Vikings (Pick: MIN)
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (Pick: PIT)
Dallas Cowboys vs. Los Angeles-AFC (Pick: LAC)
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: PHI)
Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York-NFC (Pick: CIN)
Baltimore Ravens vs. Arizona Cardinals (Pick: BAL)
Atlanta Falcons vs. New York-AFC (Pick: ATL)
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Reminder of those picks: CHI, CAR, NO, LAR, BUF, IND, KC, TEN, MIA, MIN, PIT, LAC, PHI, CIN, BAL, ATL
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More sh*tposting next week, until then, this is your captain scoring the game winning touchdown and saying see you next time.
More sh*tposting next week, until then, this is your captain scoring the game winning touchdown and saying see you next time.
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