Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Let's get sh*t-posting: Preseason Week 2 Ravens Analysis and NFL Preseason Week 3 Selections

 The following is a journalistic presentation of
The Captain's Purple Anchor Productions
Ravens Roost 117 Blogging


--

Hello Children! Welcome to sh*tposting 101 in the Ravens Roost! (HOORAY!!! YAY!) Another preseason week done... (HOORAY!)... Getting closer to the regular season.... (HOORAY!)

Are we ready for more sh*tposting? (YES! Absolutely! Sure am!)

Do you mind if I keep sh*tposting? (No!!!!!)

You got a problem with the bad language as LONG as it is censored (No!!!!)

Ok, back to sh*tposting (I do have one question though!)

Must be Michelle asking the question... Ok, What's that? (What is sh*tposting?)

I'll leave that for you to decipher. (Why? You don't know the answer?)

No, because you don't know what it is and you want me to answer your question (yeah!)

Sorry. Not happening. Anyway, back to sh*tposting (NO, WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT SH*TPOSTING IS!)

Nah. Anyway, another week of preseason is in the books and it's time to go over what we learned this week, children. (Someone raises their hand.)

Yes Mary (Josh, what is... sh*tposting?)

Oh geez... NEXT!!!

--

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.

--

There goes Week 2 of the preseason... everyone has one more game to play and we will get ready for the real thing starting after this slate of games. By the way, how did the Ravens stack up?

(Oooh! I know, I know!)

Christie, we know you know, now put your hand down and tell Pat to grab me a beer. I could use one with the week I've had.

--

Analysis of the Ravens for Week 2:

Did you see that tight end named Isaiah Likely? Boy, he was good. Played 15 snaps, had 8 targets, 8 catches, 100 yards, and a score. How about that dude Tyler Huntley. Making a case to be starter maybe? Ah, that belongs to Lamar but he was absolutely wonderful with his passing as he completed his first 8 passes of the game and finished 13/14 for 129 yards and TD. Not bad at all. He's completed 91% of his passes his preseason after all. The Ravens running game left a lot to be desired though as they only managed 1 10-yard carry and 75 ground yards.

Well the bad news is that Gus the Bus will miss at least the first four games of the season as he is still recovering from his injury. We hope for a speedy recovery.

The defense was outstanding with their play coming up with 3 sacks and 2 turnovers and held their opponents to just 55 ground yards but they were very inefficient on 3rd downs allowing 8 3rd down conversions, 20 first downs (13 from pass, 3 from rushing, and 4 from penalties)

The Ravens committed 12 penalties for 116... That needs to come down (F*ck!)

What you like penalties? (No!)

Hoy, you guys are confusing sometimes.... Put your hand down, Ed.

Injury wise, the Ravens escaped with a scare to towering tubbo, Daniel Faalele who had just cramps when it was initially thought he suffered a severe knee injury... 

Overall, I give the Ravens a B for effort, we need to tighten the screws on the defensive side of the ball... cut down on the penalties... and what else.

I guess Christie knows... what is it, Christie?

(That would be..... cut down on the 3rd down conversions?)

Very much so. Allowing 8/15 is pretty heavy. We got to do better there.

--

The final stat lines for the Ravens:

10 total offensive drives
54 plays
292 yards of offense (217 Air / 75 Ground)
1 Turnover (+1 on turnover battle)
31:55 Time of Possession
17 First Downs (11 Air / 5 Ground / 1 Penalty)
3/8 on Third Down
12 penalties for 116 yards

Defensive:
2 Interceptions
306 yards allowed (251 Air / 55 Ground)
3 sacks for 15 yards.

--

Week 3 vs. Commanders (SAT - 7pm - NBC - WBAL-11)

Oh goodie, the Commanders... I don't understand the reason behind the name. But ok. I think this will be a dress rehearsal for the first teamers and any rookies that have been doing very well. Shemar Bridges actually was nowhere to be found in the 2nd game but I do expect him to catch a few balls here. The roster is now down to 80 but more cuts are going to be made following this game.

--

So how did I do last week with my preseason picks:

Chicago Bears vs. Seattle Seahawks (Pick: CHI) - Nope

Carolina Panthers vs. New England Patriots (Pick: CAR) - YEP!

New Orleans Saints vs. Green Bay Packers (Pick: NO) - Nope

Houston Texans vs. Los Angeles-NFC (Pick: LAR) - Nope

Denver Broncos vs. Buffalo Bills (Pick: BUF) - YEP!

Detroit Lions vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND) - Nope

Washington Commanders vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC) - YEP!

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN) - YEP!

Las Vegas Raiders vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA) - Nope

San Francisco 49ers vs. Minnesota Vikings (Pick: MIN) - Nope

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (Pick: PIT) - YEP!

Dallas Cowboys vs. Los Angeles-AFC (Pick: LAC) - Nope

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: PHI) - YEP!

Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York-NFC (Pick: CIN) - Nope

Baltimore Ravens vs. Arizona Cardinals (Pick: BAL) - YEP!

Atlanta Falcons vs. New York-AFC (Pick: ATL) - Nope

Record: 7-9 (13-19 on the preseason). Dammit, only a game better than last week! I didn't parlay again.

--

Week 3 selections:

Green Bay Packers vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC)

San Francisco 49ers vs. Houston Texans (Pick: SF)

Buffalo Bills vs. Carolina Panthers (Pick: BUF)

Seattle Seahawks vs. Dallas Cowboys (Pick: DAL)

Los Angeles Chargers vs. New Orleans Saints (Pick: LAC)

New England Patriots vs. Las Vegas Raiders (Pick: NE)

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Atlanta Falcons (Pick: JAX)

Los Angeles Rams vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Pick: LAR)

Chicago Bears vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: CLE)

Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN)

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA)

Washington Commanders vs. Baltimore Ravens (Pick: BAL)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND)

Minnesota Vikings vs. Denver Broncos (Pick: DEN)

New York-AFC vs. New York-NFC (Pick: NYJ)

Detroit Lions vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (Pick DET)

--

Reminder of those picks: KC, SF, BUF, DAL, LAC, NE, JAX, LAR, CLE, TEN, MIA, BAL, IND, DEN, NYJ

--

More sh*tposting next week, until then.... What is it Christie...

(Did we fail the course...?)

This isn't a class, Christie. So again, this is your captain scoring the game winning touchdown and saying see you next time.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Taking a sh*t on the 2023 NFL Draft - How'd the Ravens do?

Hello everyone, The 2023 NFL draft is officially over and we are now getting ready for the schedule release in a few weeks in May. Yeah, it ...