The following is a journalistic presentation of
The Captain's Purple Anchor Productions
and Ravens Roost 117 Sh*tposting.
Welcome back to your next round of sh*tposting. The Football Gods are most proud that we are inching ever closer to the real thing.
Good Afternoon Class and welcome to another round of sh*tposting 101. So what did we learn last week, class?
(Christie: Gus Edwards will be out the next 4 games)
Very good Christie. Anyone else.
(Michelle: That our defense was just mostly second and third teamers and they gave up a lot of yards vs. that... Washington team they call the Commanders now?)
That's true. Anyone else.
(John B.: Uh... injuries were very limited this preseason.)
If at all any. Very good. Anyone else
(Ed: That new guy Demarcus Robinson is pretty good. Hauled in a 67-yard touchdown catch.)
Yes and even had 135 yards on 4 catches to boot.
(Christie: Ronnie Stanley's back!)
Not yet. Anyone else?
(James: Lamar still hasn't gotten an extension yet.)
Clock is ticking on that...
(Mary: Dicker the Kicker is gone...)
And your point is? Alright, that's enough of that.
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3 weeks of preseason? Done. Now the real thing begins after this week concludes. Question is... how did the Ravens stack up. 23 straight preseason wins.... not like it matters... but 23... that's pretty good.
Mary, happy birthday, but put your hand down. (Mary: Aw man. How come he gets to talk about the Ravens, and we don't.)
Because I got the laptop and you are sitting at your desk ready to make your picks for this week right?
(Mary: Oh! That's why I got this play money next to me right?)
That's right. Now, let's talk week 3 of preseason.
Demarcus Robinson was signed late in the preseason and he made an immediate impact, picking up a 67-yard TD on his first catch on a pass from Anthony Brown... Why we didn't keep him boggles the mind... Kid's got a strong arm. The Ravens passing game looks well, fairly comfortable, Huntley threw the ball a few times but that's about it. Our run game? Not so great, but then again, it was preseason, only 12 yards on the ground.
Sam Howell's performance as the Washington Commanders quarterback was not bad but he did show where the Ravens really need to shore up the secondary as he did get some great throws in plus some good runs.
Once again the Rookies were outstanding, Tyler Lindenbaum has turned into a giant at Center, Daniel Faalele's tubbo power gave Brown time to throw.
Despite being outgained in everything from First Downs to Total Yards. The scoreboard said it all. 17-15 win over the Commander using 2nd, 3rd, and 4th teamers... shows that the Ravens do have some work to do but they do get a B+ for their efforts but the D showed some issues. 134 yards allowed on the ground and 254 yards passing.
Defensive:
2 Interceptions
388 yards allowed (254 Air / 134 Ground)
0 sacks for 0 yards.
--
Before we head into Synopsis of our first week's game. Let us take a look at the final preseason picks
Green Bay Packers vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC) - YEP!
San Francisco 49ers vs. Houston Texans (Pick: SF) - No
Buffalo Bills vs. Carolina Panthers (Pick: BUF) - No
Seattle Seahawks vs. Dallas Cowboys (Pick: DAL) - No
Los Angeles Chargers vs. New Orleans Saints (Pick: LAC) - No
New England Patriots vs. Las Vegas Raiders (Pick: NE) - No
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Atlanta Falcons (Pick: JAX) - No
Los Angeles Rams vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Pick: LAR) - No
Chicago Bears vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: CLE) - No
Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN) - YEP!
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA) - No
Washington Commanders vs. Baltimore Ravens (Pick: BAL) - YEP!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND) - YEP!
Minnesota Vikings vs. Denver Broncos (Pick: DEN) - YEP!
New York-AFC vs. New York-NFC (Pick: NYJ) - YEP!
Detroit Lions vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (Pick DET) - No
--
Before we begin my synopsis of this opening week battle between the Ravens and Jets...
Let us pray together: Mighty and Everlasting Football Gods above... Another season of Ravens football is here... May the beers and soda flow like rain... Let us pack our stomachs full of nachos, pizza, hot dogs, and any other high-fat, artery-clogging, sodium-laden snack we can get our hands on... Let us be drunk with cheers when our Ravens win... Let us cheer when the Steelers, Browns, or Bengals get their asses kicked... Let us rise up and show the rest of the nation that we are a football town unlike Taglibue who thinks we're just a museum town... Let us show no mercy this year... and may the injuries be lighter than what we experienced last year... Let us jump up in thrill in every score, Ravens defensive interception, and long range Tuck-Yeah field goal... and should the Ravens find the promised land... may it be the biggest asswhupping the Ravens hand to the teams in that land and finally get the detractors and critics to shut up... Let Lamar have an MVP season and let our defense do their job... Amen.
--
Week 1 at New York Jets (Sunday - 1pm - CBS - WJZ-13)
Line: Ravens -7 (Over/Under 44.5 / Money Line: Ravens -330 / Jets +260)
ESPN FPI: 73.5% BAL
Majority: BAL
The Jets... J-E-T-S. Jets... Jets... Jets... at the New Meadowlands where the Ravens will have to travel. Personally, I wish Lamar would've played a few series and I think he might be a bit rusty to start the season given that he was on the bench during the preseason. The Jets are already getting injured with several players going down with knee injuries... Then you have the quarterback question? Will Zac Wilson be healthy enough to start? Or will Joe Flacco go up against his former mates? We shall see about that. The Jets got a great draft pick in Sauce Gardner... By the way, who names their kid... Sauce... The Ravens secondary should be back up to snuff again and the defense will have to trifle with whomever is at quarterback. The team managed to come out of preseason with a very limited number of injuries, if at all, any.
Synopsis: Lamar Jackson has to use every weapon imaginable this season if he doesn't get his contract extension, he pretty much has to earn it at this point, much like what they did with Joe Flacco in 2013 after Super Bowl XLVII. The problem is the contract goes to their head. Rashod Bateman should have a breakout season. Lamar could have 1,000 yards rushing again and over 4,000 yards passing. Look for the Ravens to come out on all cylinders in New Jersey and go big with the victory
--
3 Keys to victory:
1. Lamar Jackson needs to come out ready to play and have the distractions out.
2. Keep the Jets honest as they do have a good wide receiving core
3. Hold onto that ball. Time of possession is key and wearing the Jets D out early might mean a long day at the Meadowlands for our opposition.
--
Prediction: BAL 33 - NYJ 10. Ravens cover the spread but take the under on this one. Might just net you a pretty penny on a measly $50 bet.
--
Week 1 selections
Buffalo Bills vs. Los Angeles Rams
Line - BUF -2.5 | (O/U 53) | FPI: 49.9% LAR
My Prediction: BUF 19 - LAR 17
New Orleans Saints vs. Atlanta Falcons
Line - NO: -5.5 | (O/U 42.5) | FPI: 66.8% NO
My Prediction: NO 26 - ATL 13
San Francisco 49ers vs. Chicago Bears
Line - SF: -7 | (O/U 41.5) | FPI: 72.4% SF
My Prediction: SF 30 - CHI 13
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Line - CIN: -6.5 | (O/U 44.5) | FPI: 69.1% CIN
My Prediction: CIN 25 - PIT 20
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Detroit Lions
Line - PHI: -4 | (O/U 48.5) | FPI: 62.3% PHI
My Prediction: PHI 24 - DET 14
New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins
Line - MIA: -3 | (O/U 44.5) | FPI: 51.0% NE
My Prediction: MIA 17 - NE 13
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Washington Commanders
Line - WSH: -3 | (O/U 44) | FPI: 65.7% WSH
My Prediction: WSH 21 - JAX 17
Cleveland Browns vs. Carolina Panthers
Line - CAR: -2 | (O/U 41.5) | FPI: 65.3% CLE
My Prediction: CAR 33 - CLE 7
Indianapolis Colts vs. Houston Texans
Line - IND: -8 | (O/U 45.5) | FPI: 74.2% IND
My Prediction: IND 38 - HOU 10
New York Giants vs. Tennessee Titans
Line - TEN: -5.5 | (O/U 43.5) | FPI: 63.6% TEN
My Prediction: TEN 29 - NYG 10
Green Bay Packers vs. Minnesota Vikings
Line - GB: -2 | (O/U 48) | FPI: 53.7% GB
My Prediction: GB 23 - MIN 9
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Arizona Cardinals (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - KC: -4.5 | (O/U 53.5) | FPI: 52.4% ARZ
My Prediction: ARZ 31 - KC 30
Las Vegas Raiders vs. Los Angeles Chargers (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - LAC: -3 | (O/U 52) | FPI: 62.2% LAC
My Prediction: LV 24 - LAC 18
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Dallas Cowboys (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - TB: -1.5 | (O/U 50) | FPI: 61.9% DAL
My Prediction: DAL 30 - TB 27
Denver Broncos vs. Seattle Seahawks
Line - DEN: -6.5 | (O/U 42) | FPI: 57.3% DEN
My Prediction: DEN 24 - SEA 7
A reminder of those picks: BAL, BUF, NO, SF, CIN, PHI, MIA, WSH, CAR, IND, TEN, GB, ARZ, LV, DAL, DEN
--
5 Best Bets: BAL, ARZ, CAR, TEN, GB
--
Well folks, sadly, Jo and I will not be joining the Ravens Roost 117 for the first game at The Atlantic due to us coming home from our respective trips. I'll probably be stopped somewhere in Ohio getting lunch somewhere, but I will be going live a few times to give you guys respective updates and stuff like that.
(Christie: Aw man, we wanted to see you guys)
(Ed: Well that's not cool)
(Mary: I guess we'll have to save a drink for you both.)
(John: Safe travels on your return home then.)
(Jill: Bring us back something)
Sorry, I don't think we can do that but again, like I said before, the last third of 2022 will be very busy for us, so away games at the Atlantic may be difficult to attend.
Thank you all, class dismissed. This is your captain scoring the game winning touchdown and saying see you next time.
--
3 weeks of preseason? Done. Now the real thing begins after this week concludes. Question is... how did the Ravens stack up. 23 straight preseason wins.... not like it matters... but 23... that's pretty good.
Mary, happy birthday, but put your hand down. (Mary: Aw man. How come he gets to talk about the Ravens, and we don't.)
Because I got the laptop and you are sitting at your desk ready to make your picks for this week right?
(Mary: Oh! That's why I got this play money next to me right?)
That's right. Now, let's talk week 3 of preseason.
Demarcus Robinson was signed late in the preseason and he made an immediate impact, picking up a 67-yard TD on his first catch on a pass from Anthony Brown... Why we didn't keep him boggles the mind... Kid's got a strong arm. The Ravens passing game looks well, fairly comfortable, Huntley threw the ball a few times but that's about it. Our run game? Not so great, but then again, it was preseason, only 12 yards on the ground.
Sam Howell's performance as the Washington Commanders quarterback was not bad but he did show where the Ravens really need to shore up the secondary as he did get some great throws in plus some good runs.
Once again the Rookies were outstanding, Tyler Lindenbaum has turned into a giant at Center, Daniel Faalele's tubbo power gave Brown time to throw.
Despite being outgained in everything from First Downs to Total Yards. The scoreboard said it all. 17-15 win over the Commander using 2nd, 3rd, and 4th teamers... shows that the Ravens do have some work to do but they do get a B+ for their efforts but the D showed some issues. 134 yards allowed on the ground and 254 yards passing.
The final stat lines for the Ravens:
10 total offensive drives
37 plays
302 yards of offense (281 Air / 21 Ground)
No turnovers
20:31 Time of Possession
9 First Downs (7 Air / 2 Ground)
1/8 on Third Down
10 total offensive drives
37 plays
302 yards of offense (281 Air / 21 Ground)
No turnovers
20:31 Time of Possession
9 First Downs (7 Air / 2 Ground)
1/8 on Third Down
4 penalties for 32 yards
Defensive:
2 Interceptions
388 yards allowed (254 Air / 134 Ground)
0 sacks for 0 yards.
--
Before we head into Synopsis of our first week's game. Let us take a look at the final preseason picks
Green Bay Packers vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Pick: KC) - YEP!
San Francisco 49ers vs. Houston Texans (Pick: SF) - No
Buffalo Bills vs. Carolina Panthers (Pick: BUF) - No
Seattle Seahawks vs. Dallas Cowboys (Pick: DAL) - No
Los Angeles Chargers vs. New Orleans Saints (Pick: LAC) - No
New England Patriots vs. Las Vegas Raiders (Pick: NE) - No
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Atlanta Falcons (Pick: JAX) - No
Los Angeles Rams vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Pick: LAR) - No
Chicago Bears vs. Cleveland Browns (Pick: CLE) - No
Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans (Pick: TEN) - YEP!
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Miami Dolphins (Pick: MIA) - No
Washington Commanders vs. Baltimore Ravens (Pick: BAL) - YEP!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Indianapolis Colts (Pick: IND) - YEP!
Minnesota Vikings vs. Denver Broncos (Pick: DEN) - YEP!
New York-AFC vs. New York-NFC (Pick: NYJ) - YEP!
Detroit Lions vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (Pick DET) - No
Record: 6-10 (19-29 on the preseason). Eh... whatever.
--
Before we begin my synopsis of this opening week battle between the Ravens and Jets...
Let us pray together: Mighty and Everlasting Football Gods above... Another season of Ravens football is here... May the beers and soda flow like rain... Let us pack our stomachs full of nachos, pizza, hot dogs, and any other high-fat, artery-clogging, sodium-laden snack we can get our hands on... Let us be drunk with cheers when our Ravens win... Let us cheer when the Steelers, Browns, or Bengals get their asses kicked... Let us rise up and show the rest of the nation that we are a football town unlike Taglibue who thinks we're just a museum town... Let us show no mercy this year... and may the injuries be lighter than what we experienced last year... Let us jump up in thrill in every score, Ravens defensive interception, and long range Tuck-Yeah field goal... and should the Ravens find the promised land... may it be the biggest asswhupping the Ravens hand to the teams in that land and finally get the detractors and critics to shut up... Let Lamar have an MVP season and let our defense do their job... Amen.
--
Week 1 at New York Jets (Sunday - 1pm - CBS - WJZ-13)
Line: Ravens -7 (Over/Under 44.5 / Money Line: Ravens -330 / Jets +260)
ESPN FPI: 73.5% BAL
Majority: BAL
The Jets... J-E-T-S. Jets... Jets... Jets... at the New Meadowlands where the Ravens will have to travel. Personally, I wish Lamar would've played a few series and I think he might be a bit rusty to start the season given that he was on the bench during the preseason. The Jets are already getting injured with several players going down with knee injuries... Then you have the quarterback question? Will Zac Wilson be healthy enough to start? Or will Joe Flacco go up against his former mates? We shall see about that. The Jets got a great draft pick in Sauce Gardner... By the way, who names their kid... Sauce... The Ravens secondary should be back up to snuff again and the defense will have to trifle with whomever is at quarterback. The team managed to come out of preseason with a very limited number of injuries, if at all, any.
Synopsis: Lamar Jackson has to use every weapon imaginable this season if he doesn't get his contract extension, he pretty much has to earn it at this point, much like what they did with Joe Flacco in 2013 after Super Bowl XLVII. The problem is the contract goes to their head. Rashod Bateman should have a breakout season. Lamar could have 1,000 yards rushing again and over 4,000 yards passing. Look for the Ravens to come out on all cylinders in New Jersey and go big with the victory
--
3 Keys to victory:
1. Lamar Jackson needs to come out ready to play and have the distractions out.
2. Keep the Jets honest as they do have a good wide receiving core
3. Hold onto that ball. Time of possession is key and wearing the Jets D out early might mean a long day at the Meadowlands for our opposition.
--
Prediction: BAL 33 - NYJ 10. Ravens cover the spread but take the under on this one. Might just net you a pretty penny on a measly $50 bet.
--
Week 1 selections
Buffalo Bills vs. Los Angeles Rams
Line - BUF -2.5 | (O/U 53) | FPI: 49.9% LAR
My Prediction: BUF 19 - LAR 17
New Orleans Saints vs. Atlanta Falcons
Line - NO: -5.5 | (O/U 42.5) | FPI: 66.8% NO
My Prediction: NO 26 - ATL 13
San Francisco 49ers vs. Chicago Bears
Line - SF: -7 | (O/U 41.5) | FPI: 72.4% SF
My Prediction: SF 30 - CHI 13
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Line - CIN: -6.5 | (O/U 44.5) | FPI: 69.1% CIN
My Prediction: CIN 25 - PIT 20
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Detroit Lions
Line - PHI: -4 | (O/U 48.5) | FPI: 62.3% PHI
My Prediction: PHI 24 - DET 14
New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins
Line - MIA: -3 | (O/U 44.5) | FPI: 51.0% NE
My Prediction: MIA 17 - NE 13
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Washington Commanders
Line - WSH: -3 | (O/U 44) | FPI: 65.7% WSH
My Prediction: WSH 21 - JAX 17
Cleveland Browns vs. Carolina Panthers
Line - CAR: -2 | (O/U 41.5) | FPI: 65.3% CLE
My Prediction: CAR 33 - CLE 7
Indianapolis Colts vs. Houston Texans
Line - IND: -8 | (O/U 45.5) | FPI: 74.2% IND
My Prediction: IND 38 - HOU 10
New York Giants vs. Tennessee Titans
Line - TEN: -5.5 | (O/U 43.5) | FPI: 63.6% TEN
My Prediction: TEN 29 - NYG 10
Green Bay Packers vs. Minnesota Vikings
Line - GB: -2 | (O/U 48) | FPI: 53.7% GB
My Prediction: GB 23 - MIN 9
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Arizona Cardinals (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - KC: -4.5 | (O/U 53.5) | FPI: 52.4% ARZ
My Prediction: ARZ 31 - KC 30
Las Vegas Raiders vs. Los Angeles Chargers (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - LAC: -3 | (O/U 52) | FPI: 62.2% LAC
My Prediction: LV 24 - LAC 18
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Dallas Cowboys (UPSET ALERT!)
Line - TB: -1.5 | (O/U 50) | FPI: 61.9% DAL
My Prediction: DAL 30 - TB 27
Denver Broncos vs. Seattle Seahawks
Line - DEN: -6.5 | (O/U 42) | FPI: 57.3% DEN
My Prediction: DEN 24 - SEA 7
A reminder of those picks: BAL, BUF, NO, SF, CIN, PHI, MIA, WSH, CAR, IND, TEN, GB, ARZ, LV, DAL, DEN
--
5 Best Bets: BAL, ARZ, CAR, TEN, GB
--
Well folks, sadly, Jo and I will not be joining the Ravens Roost 117 for the first game at The Atlantic due to us coming home from our respective trips. I'll probably be stopped somewhere in Ohio getting lunch somewhere, but I will be going live a few times to give you guys respective updates and stuff like that.
(Christie: Aw man, we wanted to see you guys)
(Ed: Well that's not cool)
(Mary: I guess we'll have to save a drink for you both.)
(John: Safe travels on your return home then.)
(Jill: Bring us back something)
Sorry, I don't think we can do that but again, like I said before, the last third of 2022 will be very busy for us, so away games at the Atlantic may be difficult to attend.
Thank you all, class dismissed. This is your captain scoring the game winning touchdown and saying see you next time.
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